Healthy Choice Roasted Chicken

November 1, 2006 | Reviewer: Jess

Healthy Choice Honey Balsamic Grilled Chicken

Price: $3.19
Serving: 1 package, 11.4 oz.
Calories: 290
Fat: 11%, 7g
Sodium: 25%, 600mg
Protein: 16g
Carbs: 13%, 39g
Fiber: 40%, 10g
WW Points: 6 Points
Diet Exchanges: 1 Lean Meat, 1.5 Starch, 1 Carbohydrate, .5 Fruit

Healthy Choice says: Roasting brings out the flavors of our tender and lean white meat chicken. Creamy mashed potatoes and savory mushroom sauce with hints of thyme and sage, a medley of peas and carrots, and sweet peach crisp complete this satisfying meal.

Jess says: You should only eat this meal if you want to punish yourself for something bad that you did in a previous life. They should call the meal ‘Karma Chicken’. This large rock of chicken definitely has that pureed-chicken-bits-reformed-to-look-like-chicken-breast look, as in ‘disgusting’. While eating it, I had the joy of biting into one of those fat roadblocks, which I had to spit out. You know what I’m talking about. Those things are nasty.

The at times globular and at times runny gravy had two minuscule mushroom bits and very little flavor. To top off the entree, the potatoes have that grainy, paperish taste of instant potato flakes. I would be able to describe them better if there were more than two bites of them. They went by too quickly for my taste buds to make any real judgements. The peas and carrots were awesome, but I feel like peas and carrots are naturally awesome. They are really low maintenance veggies and they caused me to make this mental note: eat more peas and carrots.

I was excited that the peach cobbler had some oaty grains on the top, so I would have the joy of eating more than just the pie filling that is in most of the other Healthy Choice desserts. But while eating the “cobbler”, I found it just tasted like oaty pie filling. It was as if cereal had accidentally fallen into the pie filling can. Not much for flavor, nor desserty joy. On the plus side I now feel redeemed for my sins. Thank you Karma Chicken. It’s like I never even went to Vegas!

(I’ve confirmed that the potatoes were made from flakes. Come on Healthy Choice! You have these new commercials showing chefs making your “new packaging” meals and then you go and use potato flakes? Ew. — Abi Jones, Editor)

comments

10 Responses to “Healthy Choice Roasted Chicken”

Colleen on November 1st, 2006

I’ve had this meal before. Kind of, I’ve had a few bites of this meal before throwing it away. I know its a waist of food and money, but this meal is just repulsive. I havn’t had a healthy choice since.
Heather on November 1st, 2006

God, I love Jess’s reviews. She’s like my favorite analytic professor. Bravo! The lesson (in my humble student opinion): don’t take crap from bad frozen meals.
Colleen on November 1st, 2006

1) I agree Jess is a very analytical reviewer. Nice work, Jess.

2) When I wrote “I haven’t had a healthy choice since”, it could have looked like I meant that I havn’t made a healthy choice since. I’m sure everyone understood that I meant the Healthy Choice BRAND meals, not that I’m not making good choices for my health. I’m only writing this to prevent a joke being made about my choice of wording.
Crow on November 2nd, 2006

I don’t get it, the review body seems to say it’s awful, but it still gets three stars?
Abi Jones on November 2nd, 2006

Colleen - Yes, I see how people could confuse what you said. Would you like me to add (meal) to the end of your first comment?

Heather - I feel really lucky because I get to read Jess’s review first. They are hilarious enough to make me chuckle at my desk and then lamely try to explain the chuckling to fellow cube-farmers.

Crow - I’ll have to make some sort of standardized rating system so that we all agree on exactly what each star level means. Jess also gave three stars to Michelina’s Penne Primavera after saying that “This meal kind of tastes like plastic”. Who knows, maybe she was in a good mood after writing such a funny review.
Ace N. on November 2nd, 2006

It is odd that Jess seems to be the most scathing reviewer, yet gives out fairly decent scores to meals that she feels are basically inedible. Awesome reviews, though. Reminds me of taht episode in the Simpsons when Homer was disgusted with Marge’s pork chops and gave it his “lowest score ever…7 thumbs up.”
Jess on November 3rd, 2006

a) shucks guys. Abi just sent me the link so I’d check the comments. you surely fluffed up my ego. so thanks. your praise makes all the disgusting, belly churning food worth it. mostly.
b) I give out stars first and then while writing my true hatred comes out, as I get to really explore my emotions and, often, feel increasingly nauseated. I think I must learn to give out stars last. This should only get 1 star, Abi, if you feel like revising it. Probably 2 for the plastic pasta.
Thanks for the input team.
carolyn on January 6th, 2007

Very Funny! You made me laugh so hard I cried. You should be a comedy writer.. Thanks for letting me know about the quality of this meal… Just starting a diet and needed help choosing some decent food. I could have rolled on the floor while laughing. Perhaps I should have as I would have gotten some extra exercise but then I would have had to get up.
Thanks for your help.
John Anthony on July 7th, 2007

This meal is indeed a disgusting pile! Imagine how I felt after buying four boxes to keep in the freezer at school (I’m a teacher)! I ate one and the others….well….they’re still there! Putrid stuff! The review is very accurate…..right sown to the cereal!
Andie on May 11th, 2008

How could all of you think they are gross… I eat the Roasted Chicken probably once a week. This and The Cheesy Chicken and Rice are my all time favorites in frozen dinners. The only part I agree upon is that the dessert sucks…