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Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first. ~Josh Billings

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Stouffer’s Spaghetti with Meatballs

September 15, 2006 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $1.59 (sale)
Serving: 1 package, 12 5/8 oz.
Calories: 460
Fat: 25%, 16g
Sodium: 36%, 880mg
Protein: 21g
Carbs: 19%, 58g
Fiber: 16%, 4g

Stouffer’s says:Flavored meatballs in a tomato sauce accented with herbs and spices served over tender spaghetti

Abi says: At approximately 8:15 this morning, I opened the freezer and tried to predict what I would like to eat for lunch. On most days I make fairly accurate predictions “Oooh, some black bean enchiladas will be nice in about four hours.” but other days I am lulled into complacence by the lack of coffee in my system. Today was one of those days where I couldn’t accurately describe my future lunchtime yearnings.

I will also blame this choice on my current relationship with leftovers. You see, pasta (and specifically the spaghetti group) is one of the few leftovers that reheats rather nicely. Stouffer’s tries to one-up leftover spaghetti by claiming that their pasta is fresh. Just in case you can’t see the enormous banner in the photo above, I present to you the freshness claim:

What on God’s green Earth are you saying, Stouffer’s corporationi? Did you think that you could pull the wool over the collective eyes of the American Public? The words “Freshly Made Pasta” imply at world of culinary delight that this meal cannot comprehend. Unfortunately for any hungry people out there, the meatballs are a bit odd too. In the words of our President “Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”

There’ll be no second chances with Stouffer’s Spaghetti and Meatballs.

Vegan Noodles at Trader Joe’s

September 14, 2006 | Reviewer: Abi Jones

Hey Vegans, Vegetarians, and Trader Joe’s aficionados, there’s a new type of noodle lunch out there. East coast TJ’s locations are now carrying Pad Thai, Peanut Satay Noodles, and Kung Pao Noodles under the Trader Joe’s brand.

HeatEatReview.com will give you the scoop on these meals next week, starting with the Peanut Satay Noodles. No, Trader Joe’s didn’t send them to us for free. Instead, we (meaning Abi) dropped six bucks in an effort to satisfy a major case of curiosity.

If any of you West Coast HeatEatReview readers see the product in your stores, please let us know!

Trader Joe’s Pesto Tortellini Bowl

September 13, 2006 | Reviewer: Amy

None of the information in the review has been confirmed. So, we may just be adding to the Trader Joe’s rumor mill. That or they really do sell other brands with replacement packaging.

Price: $2.79
Serving: 1 package, 9.5 oz.
Calories: 470
Fat: 35%, 23g
Sodium: 26%, 630mg
Protein: 18g
Fiber: 12%, 3g

Trader Joe says: Made with organic pasta, extra virgin olive oil and basil.

Amy says: Sound the alarm folks! I am hittin’ you with (what i consider to be) some super duper news. Are you ready? Brace yourself foo! OK, well, once upon a time in San Diego (why the locale matters I know not) I was chatting with my cousin about the merits of Amy’s Kitchen and Trader Joe’s. I love these companies passionately for all of the goodness they have dropped into my life. My cousin worked for a food broker that dealt with Amy’s and she informed me that sometimes Trader Joe’s would get Amy’s products and put their own packaging on them. If you haven’t figured out what I am insinuating here then well, I suppose I will have to spell it out for you. This tortellini bowl is essentially Amy’s, though I checked it out and the nutrition varies a touch, but the taste, hot diggity!!!

I never got to review Amy’s tortellini bowl. I was daunted by Abi’s tremendous review, but it seems that fate works in mysterious and wonderful ways so here we go!

Trader Joe’s tortellini bowl is what every frozen meal should strive to be in terms of yumminess. The sauce is basil-ly delcious and the tortellini, although not al dente, were cooked evenly and had delightful cheesy center. Also, Abi noted that Amy’s tortellini got a little tough in the microwave. I paid extra attention to this while inhaling my meal and I only found one that was slightly chewy. It seems that Trader Joe’s was able to fix the problem which Amy’s presented, or maybe my microwave is better than the one at work. The best part of this discovery was, well, I guess that it existed at all, but also, the price. Even with the raincheck from Giant the Amy’s tortellini bowl is often more expensive.

The drawbacks here are that I don’t think every Trader Joe’s carries this product as I only found it upon my return to California and unfortunately, good products do not make for funny reviews. I am sure that Abi will make every attempt to track one or eight of these bad boys down at every Trader Joe’s in the DC metropolitan area. I wish you luck on this mission.

[I’ve made an attempt to track down this bowl at multiple Trader Joe’s in the DC area. I’m sorry dear readers, but I haven’t found them at the Fairfax, Alexandria, DC (woo!), or Silver Spring Trader Joe’s. I’m a little bummed about this and beginning to think that maybe this product is only available on the West Coast. –Abi Jones, Ed.]

[These are definitely available at the Foggy Bottom Trader Joe’s in DC, and the Menlo Park and Mountain View locations in CA. - Ed.]

Ready-to-eat Giveaway #1

September 12, 2006 | Reviewer: Abi Jones

The first contest ever on HeatEatReview.com! While we’d love to send you some frozen meals, we’d probably just end up playing with the dry ice and never get the goods to you. Instead, we’ve put together an awesome box of snackably delicious prepared foods from a few of our favorite stores (ok, Trader Joe’s).

How do you win? Just add HeatEatReview.com to your blogroll or put a link to us on your site. After that, comment on this entry with your name, real email address, and a link to your site or that entry. If HeatEatReview.com is already on your blogroll, just leave a note. At 6pm Eastern time on Friday, September 22nd, we’ll draw a winner!

Because you’re listing links in the comments and I’m running Akismet, you’ll have to wait for moderation. Yes, my comment spam filter is super-strong. Just be a little zen while you’re waiting for the comment to post. It won’t hurt, I promise.

The Bad News: This contest is only open to people in the United States and Canada. Sorry, but it costs a lot to send a box of goodies to Iceland. The deadline for your entries is 5pm Friday, September 22nd.

Pleaste note that this is not a ‘healthy’ snack box. It is a snackbox of muy, muy deliciosoness which will be comprised of approximately 50% healthy items. Ok, probably less than 50%.