Lean Cuisine Sesame Chicken

September 29, 2006 | Reviewer: Abi

In which Abi ponders the insanity of the general Lean-Cuisine-Eating population and concludes that they’re starved for breading.

Price: $3.29
Serving: 1 tray, 9 oz.
Calories: 340
Fat: 14%, 9g
Sodium: 27%, 650mg
Protein: 22g
Carbs: 16%, 49g
Fiber: 10%, 2g
WW Points: 7 Points
Diet Exchanges: 1 1/2 Lean Meat, 2 starch, 1 other carbohydrate, 1/2 Fat

Lean Cuisine says: Sesame breaded chicken tenderloins in a tangy Asian style plum sauce accented with ginger and topped with roasted sesame seeds served aside pasta tossed with sesame oil,green beans and red peppers.

Abi says: While setting the timer for this meal I realized that I had approximately 3 minutes to use the restroom and wash my hands. While washing said hands, I detected the scent of chinese food in the air. Hmmm, I thought, someone is reheating chinese food. Then I realized that it was my food I was smelling. Yes, there’s some sort of freakish vent connectivity between the office kitchen and women’s restroom. This means that when someone burns meatloaf in the microwave, all of the women in the office get to enjoy the scent of burnt meat wafting through the restroom. Yeah, ew. But let’s get back to the food.

The sweet asian-style sauce in Lean Cuisine’s Sesame Chicken meal creates a burnt ring of stickiness around the edge of the container and completely eliminates any crispness from the sesame chicken. Soggy breading refutes the need for breading at all, which by default should add a crispiness to any meaty item. Wikipedia backs me up on this one, noting that breading “lends itself to creating a crispy coating around the food“. Take that Lean Cuisine! I enjoyed getting a serving of noodles instead of rice, but could have done with a lot more green beans. Peppers were decorative, but essentially non-existent taste-wise. Actually, they were non-existent, existence-wise. Take a look at the box, then my food. Yes, I received a single fleck of red bell pepper. Argh.

Post-lunch, I checked out the Lean Cuisine website to get a good look at the product details. There I learned that this is Lean Cuisine’s number one seller. I attribute this fact to the meal’s amazing imitation of take-out chinese food in a diet form. Also, it contains breading, which makes women on diets a little insane, even if the breading is soggy. Reading about 30 of the 193 reviews on Lean Cuisine’s website had me thinking that the eaters of these meals are not nearly as discriminating as the writers here on HeatEatReview.com. I would post some of their comments, but the egregious misuse of apostrophes had me twitching after a few pages.

For other takes on this meal (which I gave 4 stars because I’m a softy), check out Tanya at Iateapie.net and the Dallas Lunch Ladies.

Filed Under 7 WW Points, Chicken, Four Stars, Lean Cuisine Reviews, Pasta | 7 Comments

Amy’s Kitchen Veggie Loaf

September 27, 2006 | Reviewer: Jess

Amy's Kitchen Veggie Loaf

Price: $3.49 (sale)
Serving: 1 meal, 10 oz.
Calories: 280
Fat: 11%, 7g
Sodium: 29%, 690mg
Protein: 8g
Carbs: 16%, 47g
Fiber: 28%, 7g

Amy’s Kitchen says: The loaf slice, made from a blend of legumes and organic vegetables, is covered with a perfectly seasoned tomato based gravy and accompanied by fluffy organic mashed potatoes, tender organic green peas and gold corn kernels that keep their own natural flavor without adding oil or butter.

Jess says: I’m going to go ahead and tell you the moral of this review first in case you just want a cheap take-away from my trials and tribulations without a wordy account of my path to knowledge. The moral: Making drunk promises can open up a door to new, positive experiences. You should boozily promise to eat this meal.

The story; I was out for cocktails with some coworkers and HeatEatReview.com contributers. In the Venn diagram of life, these two circles would be mightily overlapping. Abi, mistress of the microwave meal, had promised that we would not discuss HeatEatReview while enjoying our downtime. How foolish and naive we were! The poison was quick and we started discussing the contents of our freezers. At some point this little vegetarian delight was discussed. I mentioned how the very look of it frightened me, nevermind the harsh tonalities of its name. Really, what is appetizing about a veggie loaf? I am unsure if its morally just to allow animal parts to be loafed. And then to model this form by manipulating food processed veggies like Play Doh? Not cool.

Abi asked, “Would you review it if I bought it for you”? The Cuba Libre said “Yes”.

Fast forward to the gelatinous gravy steaming off of a “loaf” of questionable contents. Onlookers were puzzled and huddled together for comfort. Abi laughed in the face of my task. The mashed potatoes and corn held promise in their gravyless far away corners.

Sure, I was scared. But I dug in! And, readers, I kid you not, it was pretty good. It had a grainy, veggie texture like a puffed up garden burger and the crazy gravy had a hint of sweetness. The trick, I think, is that they did not make it taste like meat. The made it taste like, well, processed and manipulated veggies and grains formed into a loaf and topped with sweet gravy. But, you know, in a totally positive way. And like a tried and true friend, corn and potatoes were there to be supportive and reliable when they’re needed to round out a meal.

I’d give it one more star if it was prettier on the eyes. But staring at it too long made me start to feel regret.

Thanks, Abi. I often judge too harshly and, were it not for your wily ways and the effects of the happy juice, this meal and I would not have crossed paths.

Filed Under Amy's Kitchen Reviews, Three Stars, Vegetarian | 8 Comments

HeatEatReview.com Is Going Pink!

September 26, 2006 | Reviewer: Abi Jones

Lean Cuisine Lunch Bags

On Sunday, October 1st, you’re going to see some changes at HeatEatReview.com. We’re unveiling a new color scheme in honor of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. That’s right, after 6 months spent discussing frozen foods, we’re finally getting serious about something. And that something is breast cancer. HeatEatReview.com will give you easy ways to raise awareness among friends and coworkers and donate to trusted organizations while we go Pink for October.

If you’re super eager to get that awareness started, head on over to Lean Cuisine’s website and order a designer breast cancer lunch bag. I know, I could have put that in a much more flattering light. Check out those bags! They are cute! I already ordered one. And you should too, because who doesn’t need one more thing to carry around?

Oh, don’t worry, we’ll still feature reviews of your favorite (and most-detested) frozen foods in October. In fact, I just made a number of rather questionable purchases that I’m sure all of you will greatly enjoy. These food choices include instant rice with raisins, South Beach turkey wraps (with Jell-o!), and frozen dal.

Tomorrow’s review features Jess’s analysis of an Amy’s Kitchen Veggie Loaf. Doesn’t that just make you say ‘yum’? Mmmmmmm…. veggie loaf.

Sincerely,
Abi Jones
Editor, www.HeatEatReview.com

Hey DC area Readers…have you seen Amy’s Whole Meals? Specifically, we’re looking for the Chili & Cornbread Whole Meal and the Country Dinner Whole Meal. If you’ve seen one in a local supermarket, please let me know! I’ll even go to the suburbs if I have to.

Update: Thanks to reader Emily’s keen eyes I’ll be heading out to a not-to-be-named Whole Foods to pick up the Chili and Cornbread Whole Meal. No, I’m not going to tell you where it is. I would like it to still be there on Saturday. If you know where I can find the Country Dinner, please post a comment!

Filed Under Frozen Meal News | Leave a Comment

Lean Cuisine Traditional Deluxe Pizza

September 25, 2006 | Reviewer: Guest Reviewers

Lean Cuisine Traditional Deluxe Pizza

Price: $2.00 (good sale at Safeway)
Serving: 1 pizza, 6 oz.
Calories: 370
Fat: 14%, 9g
Sodium: 25%, 590mg
Protein: 17g
Carbs: 18%, 55g
Fiber: 12%, 3g
WW Points: 8 Points
Diet Exchanges: 1 1/2 Medium Fat Meat, 3 Starch, 1 Vegetable

Lean Cuisine says: Pizzeria-style pizza with a crispy crust from the microwave, topped with a four cheese blend and spicy pepperoni,sausage,roasted bell peppers,onions,and mushrooms

Andrew says: The Lean Cuisine pizza is flavorful and healthy, a lunchtime delight. It will become a staple of my snack and lunch diet.

The top positive characteristic of the pizza is its crisp crust. The silver crisper (part of the packaging) has transformed what would be a cardboard-invoking texture of microwaveable pizza dough into something resembling freshly baked bread! The flavor of the pizza is also enhanced by the fresh and moist pepperoni.

And unlike other microwaveable pizzas, the cheese on this pizza maintains a consistency similar to that of freshly-made pizza. I’m impressed with a microwaveable pizza that can avoid the pitfalls of bad cheese.

Overall- a definite best bet for lunch. One note of caution: this pizza probably won’t provide enough sustenance for a dinner. It’s the portion equivalent of a slice and a half of real pizza (if that).

Filed Under 8 WW Points, Four Stars, Frozen Pizza Reviews, Lean Cuisine Reviews, Pork | 2 Comments