Heat Eat Review

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Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all. ~Harriet Van Horne

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Whole Kitchen Chana Masala

August 7, 2006 | Reviewer: Heather

Price: $2.99
Serving: 1 package, 12.3 oz.
Calories: 470
Fat: 17%, 11g
Sodium: 25%, 600mg
Protein: 11g
Carbs: 28%, 85g
Fiber: 41%, 10g

Whole Kitchen says:Our Whole Kitchen chana masala is made in the traditional Indian fashion. Garbanzo beans are enveloped in a savory spiced sauce and served with white Basmati rice. This vegetarian taste of India goes from freezer to table in about 5 minutes.

Heather says: Well, hello there, fellow lovers of convenience and cheap frozen meals. Thanks for having me. This will be the first of my considerably biased and editorialized reviews of vegetarian and – when I’m feeling really virtuous – vegan products. Like you, I love food. And like you, ostensibly, food reviews. They not only entertain me but also serve to save me a buck or two now and then. And being a destitute graduate student, I certainly appreciate a dollar saved.

Now then, let’s get started, shall we? For my first review, I pounced upon what looked like a safe old favorite: Whole Kitchen’s Chana Masala. I love Indian food in general, and chana in particular. I’d never tried this particular product but have been pleased so far with the Whole Foods product lines, so I thought it might be at least moderately edible.

I would sum up this product thus: Blech.

I suppose I had high hopes for this meal, because I love chana so very much. I even stirred it around and fluffed the rice a bit in an attempt to make it look better for its online debut. Sadly, my efforts didn’t improve its taste in the least. The lovely Basmati rice had clumped together
awfully and was, by and large, crispy. There was also not nearly enough sauce, which just highlighted how icky the rice turned out. Not that it would have helped much, for the masala itself was lackluster. The chickpeas were soft, as they should be, but the sauce was unremarkable. The only thing I could think to do to improve upon its taste was add salt, and yet — judging by the nutritional information — that would be inadvisable.

All in all, this meal was a bit of disappointment. In general, I don’t make much Indian food at home, precisely because it ends up tasting exactly like this meal…blah. But I will say this much for my cooking - at least I can make a batch of non-crispy Basmati rice.

Lean Cuisine Fiesta Grilled Chicken

August 4, 2006 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $2.00 (good sale at Safeway)
Serving: 1 package, 8.5 oz.
Calories: 310
Fat: 10%, 7g
Sodium: 25%, 620mg
Protein: 19g
Carbs: 9%, 27g
Fiber: 12%, 3g
WW Points: 5 Points
Diet Exchanges: 1 1/2 Lean Meat, 2 Starch, 1/2 Vegetable

Lean Cuisine says: Seasoned and grilled chicken tenderloins with hand-picked red and yellow peppers. Served with a Santa Fe-style medley of long grain white rice, black and pinto beans, whole kernel corn,green poblano and red chiles, topped with a creamy sour cream sauce with Mexican tomatillos and cheese.

Abi says: As I’ve explained before, if something has the word ‘fiesta’ in the name, I have to try it. Why, you ask? I am irresistably drawn to things that are vaguely hispanic, like me.

Yes, I used that line before when describing Healthy Choice’s Fiesta Chicken meal. I’m happy to report the Lean Cuisine kicks some Healthy Choice butt in the ‘vaguely hispanic’ department. Let’s start with the chicken. Can you see those seasonings? Well, maybe not, that it a rather small picture. The important thing is that I could see them. I didn’t even know what it was…Oregano? Pepper? Parsley? Who cares? It supplied those little chicken cutlets (I know that’s not the right word) with just enough oomph to make me enjoy the meat. Yes, a rarity in this world of chicken mushiness.

Drawbacks? I’d appreciate a better bean-to-rice ratio in this meal. Sure, they include black and pinto beans in the description. I estimate the black bean count at three and the pinto bean count at two. Hello Lean Cuisine! We are not scared of beans! Beans keep us full!

Aside from the lack of beans, this is a hearty and deliciously filling meal. You should, of course, take ‘hearty’ with a grain of salt as I am talking about a standard Lean Cuisine meal. This is hearty compared to other Lean Cuisines but can’t hold a candle to a Boston Market meal.

Ok, so I cheated and added a little bit of Trader Joe’s Mexican Sauce to this meal. You can’t see that in the picture because I usually take the pictures before making any modifications to
the meal. I recommend that you take that extra step too; add a couple spoonfuls of salsa or picante sauce to your tray of Lean Cuisine Fiesta Grilled Chicken and you’ll have a happy tummy.

My stellar review of this meal must show you just how disenchanted I am with most frozen food offerings. Yes, I did write ‘happy tummy’ in that last paragraph.

Amy’s Kitchen Tofu Vegetable Lasagna

August 2, 2006 | Reviewer: Jess

If lasagna were to be a brick house*, then cheese would be the mortar - the substance without which, the building would be flimsy and unstable…

Price: $3.49
Serving: 1 Lasagna, 9.5 oz.
Calories per serving: 310
Fat: 18%, 11g
Sodium: 28%, 680mg
Carbs: 14%, 41g
Fiber: 24%, 6g
Protein: 13g

Amy’s Kitchen says: For those who prefer not to eat cheese, the same delicious sauce, organic pasta and vegetables as the Vegetable Lasagna, but made with tofu and soy cheese.

Jess says: If lasagna were to be a brick house*, then cheese would be the mortar - the substance without which, the building would be flimsy and unstable. Similarly, I believe that melted cheese may be the glue that holds my life together. I just now tried to mentally erase cheese from my own personal history and realized that it all became an intangible blur and then I shuddered.

So why would I buy something “for those who prefer not to eat cheese”? Well I didn’t read the ingredients. I saw the pretty picture that insinuates pasta, cheese, tofu, and veggies and, liking all these things, assumed that this would result in another rave review dedicated to Amy’s Kitchen. While wanting for that melodic hunger ding of the micro, (I usually dance around in anticipation) I happened to survey what I was in store for. And leaping lizards! There I see fake soy cheese! A co-worker was standing next to me. “That’s no good,” he said.

Abi later tried to convince me that there was cottage cheese in the lasagna. Then it turned out she was lying. Now allow me to enumerate:

1. The lasagna was tasty, but in a salty way, so that you know it is only tasty because it is so salty.
2. Soy cheese is not real cheese and should not pretend to be real cheese. It should look up to real cheese in the way that O’Douls looks up to Guinness.
3. When tomato saucy microwave dishes don’t make you cook them at half power, don’t get too excited about the quicker prep time. It results in hardened, tomatoey crust along the perimeter that you cannot eat, though you may still be hungry. You will probably feel robbed and want to turn back time and do some half power cooking.

In conclusion, if you do eat real cheese, buy lasagna with real cheese.

*As I wrote that, I was singing the song Brickhouse by Lionel Richie and The Commodores. You may have done that too. As a kid, instead of “she’s mighty, mighty,” I thought they were saying “she’s mathematic” not that either choice makes sense with ” just lettin’ it all hang out”.