Amy’s Kitchen Tofu Vegetable Lasagna

August 2, 2006 | Reviewer: Jess

If lasagna were to be a brick house*, then cheese would be the mortar - the substance without which, the building would be flimsy and unstable…

Amy's Kitchen Tofu Vegetable Lasagna

Price: $3.49
Serving: 1 Lasagna, 9.5 oz.
Calories per serving: 310
Fat: 18%, 11g
Sodium: 28%, 680mg
Carbs: 14%, 41g
Fiber: 24%, 6g
Protein: 13g

Amy’s Kitchen says: For those who prefer not to eat cheese, the same delicious sauce, organic pasta and vegetables as the Vegetable Lasagna, but made with tofu and soy cheese.

Jess says: If lasagna were to be a brick house*, then cheese would be the mortar - the substance without which, the building would be flimsy and unstable. Similarly, I believe that melted cheese may be the glue that holds my life together. I just now tried to mentally erase cheese from my own personal history and realized that it all became an intangible blur and then I shuddered.

So why would I buy something “for those who prefer not to eat cheese”? Well I didn’t read the ingredients. I saw the pretty picture that insinuates pasta, cheese, tofu, and veggies and, liking all these things, assumed that this would result in another rave review dedicated to Amy’s Kitchen. While wanting for that melodic hunger ding of the micro, (I usually dance around in anticipation) I happened to survey what I was in store for. And leaping lizards! There I see fake soy cheese! A co-worker was standing next to me. “That’s no good,” he said.

Abi later tried to convince me that there was cottage cheese in the lasagna. Then it turned out she was lying. Now allow me to enumerate:

The lasagna was tasty, but in a salty way, so that you know it is only tasty because it is so salty.
Soy cheese is not real cheese and should not pretend to be real cheese. It should look up to real cheese in the way that O’Douls looks up to Guinness.
When tomato saucy microwave dishes don’t make you cook them at half power, don’t get too excited about the quicker prep time. It results in hardened, tomatoey crust along the perimeter that you cannot eat, though you may still be hungry. You will probably feel robbed and want to turn back time and do some half power cooking.

In conclusion, if you do eat real cheese, buy lasagna with real cheese.

*As I wrote that, I was singing the song Brickhouse by Lionel Richie and The Commodores. You may have done that too. As a kid, instead of “she’s mighty, mighty,” I thought they were saying “she’s mathematic” not that either choice makes sense with ” just lettin’ it all hang out”.

comments

6 Responses to “Amy’s Kitchen Tofu Vegetable Lasagna”

tg on August 2nd, 2006

now see, the song this review put in my head - spurred by this line: “You will probably feel robbed and want to turn back time” - was that awful Cher song. so thanks. thanks for putting that Cher song in my head with your artful, fluid prose-writing
Nicole on August 2nd, 2006

So, you’re reading the vegan lasagna review, and you’re seeing Cher’s tatooed, fishnet clad bum?
Marvo on August 3rd, 2006

Cher’s tatooed, fishnet, partial thong clad bum in that video doesn’t look quite as appetizing as this vegan lasagna.
tg on August 3rd, 2006

stop it, i beg you, please, people, no more searing my brain with the Sounds And Images Of Cher, dear lord, stop the madness!!!
Lori on December 27th, 2006

Great lasagna, but I definitely agree it’s on the salty side. Still for a frozen meal I think it’s pretty awesome!
Cher on March 16th, 2008

This one is my favorite lasagna!