Heat Eat Review

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Food, like a loving touch or a glimpse of divine power, has that ability to comfort. ~Norman Kolpas

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Healthy Choice Sweet Bourbon Steak

June 7, 2006 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $2.50
Serving: 1 meal, 12.3 oz.
Calories: 380
Fat: 11%, 7g
Sodium: 19%, 680mg
Protein: 25g
Carbs: 14%, 41g
Fiber: 28%, 7g
Diet Exchanges: 2 Lean Meat, 1 1/2 Starch, 1 Carbohydrate
WW Points: 6 Points

Healthy Choice says: Our seasoned beef strips are seasoned with sweet bourbon sauce, crafted with with brown sugar, molasses, and Kentuckey bourbon whiskey. This meal is complemented with creamy garlic mashed potatoes, broccoli and carrots, and a sweet and crispy peach dessert to provide a satisfying, complete meal.

Abi says: Healthy Choice is careful about making promises that it can’t keep. Just check out that description. Apparently the beef is cooked. Uh, thanks Healthy choice, I would really hope so. Also, this meal comes with Vegetables, which means that they can give you just two skimpy bits of stringy carrot and call it a day.

Between the actual purchase of the meal and consumption, I try not to read the description of the meal. This is an excellent method for not feeling completely let down by your meal. For example, the description lists ‘garlic mashed potatoes’. As I ate the potatoes (the best part of the meal), I thought to myself ‘Wow, these are just a pile of tasteless goo that could really use salt, pepper, butter and a better texture’. Little did I know these were actually GARLIC mashed potatoes. I’m not sure if I feel more gyped gypped or less gyped gypped now. Is gyped gypped a word? After typing it three times it looks quite strange.

I just looked it up, apparently the word ‘gypped’ has two p’s.

On to the peach dessert, that taunted me with promises of peachiness. While carefully removing the film from ONLY the dessert, I thought ‘yum, I love apple crisp’. Then I read the box and realized that it was peach crisp. Ok, I could deal with a sort of brown peach crisp. Until I saw the peaches, that is.

Did you ever use guns growing up? I did. Guns are great fun for kids (when used responsibly and with adult supervision) of all ages. Of particular enjoyment is the entry-level BB gun. It is a starter gun that you can enjoy as a child and as an adult. While I’m not a fan of hand guns or gun shows, I am a fan of responsible gun use. I am also a fan of the way that BB’s essentially come in milk cartons. Yes, milk cartons of BB’s. Pretty awesome. Here’s a bunch of BB’s, actual size:

My dessert contained fewer peaches (volume-wise) than shown in that photo of BB’s. For shame, Healthy Choice.

While this entire review is chock full of useful information that should help you avoid the dreaded Sweet Boubon Steak de Healthy Choice, it will not do you any good. This meal was recently discontinued by ConAgra. Hooray, consumer safety, hooray.

Lean Cuisine Chicken Portabello

June 6, 2006 | Reviewer: Jess

Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Serving: 1 package, 12 oz.
Calories: 380
Fat: 10%, 7g
Sodium: 35%, 850mg
Protein: 25g
WW Points: 8 Winning Points
Diet Exchanges: 2 Lean Meat, 2 Starch, 1 other carbohydrate, 1 Vegetable, 1/2 Fruit

Lean Cuisine says: Chicken tenderloins in a portabello mushroom sauce,a rice and vegetable medley with a chocolate cherry dessert.

Jess says: European women don’t get fat. There are about 30,001 self-help books on Amazon.com that will tell you this, some with clever titles like “French Women Don’t Get Fat.” You should not buy these books, even though I just made it incredibly easy by linking you directly to one. I will give you answers now. Instant gratification! No shipping charge! One reason why they don’t get fat is because they don’t eat processed foods. They eat fresh food from outdoor markets that is kept cool, as it is shaded from the sun by their berets. Oh man, I feel kind of guilty. That stereotype is old, stupid, and wrong. I really do like and respect you, France! But I’m keeping it in because French people will not go to this site - (see 6 sentences ago). But another reason they don’t get fat is because they eat their biggest meal at lunch and then they have the whole day of moving and shaking to digest and burn those calories. It’s so brilliant and yet so obvious!

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Stagg Silverado Beef Chili with Beans

June 5, 2006 | Reviewer: Abi

Serving: 1/2 box, 7.15 oz.
Calories: 250
Fat: 11%, 7g
Sodium: 33%, 790mg
Protein: 17g
Iron: 15%

Stagg says: Stagg Silverado Beef Chili is delicious and 99% fat free! It’s loaded with juicy, high quality, extra-lean ground beef (not less beef). We’ve included plenty of red, ripe tomatoes, chopped onions, red and green bell peppers, zesty jalapenos and a hearty helping of fiber-rich beans. Spiced and simmered for a delicious chili taste. One bite and you’ll know the only thing missing is the fat.

Abi says: I live in DC and am spoiled by being a long, yet enjoyable walk from Ben’s Chili Bowl. If you live in DC too and don’t know about Ben’s, then I am very sorry because you are missing out. They have great chili, half-smokes, and milkshakes.

Unfortunately, this isn’t a review of Ben’s Chili Bowl. They would get five stars, whereas Stagg’s Silverado chili gets only four stars, which is still pretty good. Why four stars? Well, look at the nutrional information up there. That’s for just half a box. Yes, it comes in an awesome, non-can-opener-requiring box, but I require more than half a box of chili for a meal, thus I am getting a crazy amount of sodium. Also, I like to add cheddar cheese and crushed tortilla chips. This does not make the meal healthier.

While eating this particular box of chili I was out of cheddar and used provolone instead. While the provolone added a lovely smokiness to the chili, it also made it ridiculously stringy. I found myself continually watching for errant cheese strings that wanted nothing more in the world than to stretch between the bowl and spoon, break, and strike me in the chin.

This meal isn’t that healthy compared to a chili you could make at home. But it is nicely spiced, hearty, and easy to make heat at work. Just tear open the top of the box, pour the chili into a microwave-safe container, and heat. Deeeelish.

Stouffer’s Lasagna with Meat Sauce

June 2, 2006 | Reviewer: Chad

Price: $4.19 for 3 servings
Serving: 1/3 box, 7 oz.
Calories: 260
Fat: 13%, 9g
Sodium: 29%, 690mg
Protein: 24g
Carbs: 9%, 28g
Fiber: 13%, 3g

Stouffer’s says: Traditional lasagna noodles layered with an herb seasoned tomato and meat sauce and three kinds of natural cheese

Chad says: The traditionally Italian lasagna dinner Stouffer’s attempts to recreate is more on par with the Olive Garden’s pasta dish. This meal is slightly deceptive with the small size of the plastic dish, yet in the end turns out to be 3 separate meals. For the very active (wo)man this is great way to take in a lot of protein (72 grams!!) in one sitting without the feeling of being ridiculously carnivorous.

Stouffer’s lasagna actually happens to be one of my most favorite microwave meals. In less than 15 minutes, you have a meal that truly passes for a good time. If you enjoy immense layers of sauce and cheese purchase this lunchtime favorite. It has never let me down. I also recommend getting the family size which normally acts as two separate meals for me.