Lean Cuisine Vegetable Eggroll

May 16, 2006 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: $3.19
Serving: 1 tray, 9 oz.
Calories: 310
Fat: 7%, 5g
Sodium: 26%, 640mg
Protein: 7g
WW Points: 6 Winning Points
Diet Exchanges: 3 Starch, 1 Fat, 1/2 other carbohydrate

Lean Cuisine says: Vegetable eggroll filled with a seasoned blend of cabbage, carrots, celery, and onions. Accompanied by an Oriental dipping sauce with orange and ginger accents, and a side of long grain rice with vegetables.

Abi says: While eating this meal, I pictured the Lean Cuisine scientists in their white coats creating new and inventively bland and/or horrifying sauces for these meals. They use Bunsen burners, which I know isn’t appropriate, but would be sort of cool.

“Dr. A, I have finally created the perfect hoisin sauce.”
“Lovely Dr. B, but will it satisfy our consumers across the United States?”
“Yes, as I said not thirty seconds ago, this is the PERFECT sauce!”
“This tastes like sugar only and will confuse anyone who has ever tasted real hoisin.”
“You’re right Dr. A. I shall add the slightest hint of ginger and a splash of orange juice concentrate to make up for the complete lack of flavor in this sauce.”
“I can’t taste any ginger in here.”
“Yes, that is exactly the point! Now we can call it ‘Asian-style Orange Ginger Dipping Sauce’!”
“Brilliant!”
“Brilliant!”

Yes, I picture the Guinness guys making Lean Cuisine meals.

While the egg roll is mushy, this meal has the finest rice to ever come with a Lean Cuisine meal EVER. It is lovely white rice full of carrot shreds, peas, and diced bell pepper (or something else that is also red and a little mushy).

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One Response to “Lean Cuisine Vegetable Eggroll”

Jess on May 18th, 2006

So I thought that I would be helpful and provide a link to videos of those lovable Guinness idiots. But no dice! Apparently Guinness hates it when people go to their website. It is like a magical fortress of nothingness. See: http://www.guinness.com/
Roadblock 1: Must prove I am at least 21 by entering my homeland and birthday. This blockade is like a Chinese finger trap!! If I were to be, say 14 1/2 there is no way I could claim to be an Scottish sexagenarian. Because it would never occur to me, and even if it did, all-seeing Guiness would totally know.
Roadblock 2: Distracted by the possibility of winning the Ultimate Home Guinness Bar. Damn. I don’t even like Guinness.
Roadblock 3: Constant pressure to join their stupid 1759 Society to see bloopers or… i don’t know! There were other magical indicators of what would be in store for me as a member. A quick shiver ran up my spine. The whole thing began to feel a bit cultish, with their floppy black and white heads, colored clothing, awkard movements, and well-manacured, waxy moustaches.

Ug! I wasted so much time on this! I want my life back.
FYI, ads are here:http://www.guinness.com/us_en/ads/

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