Hot Pockets Four Cheese Pizza

April 21, 2006 | Reviewer: Abi

Price: 1 box for $2.50 (sale)
Serving: 1 pocket, 4.5 oz.
Calories: 380
Fat: 30%, 21g
Sodium: 33%, 800mg
Carbohydrates: 44g
Protein: 12g

Hot Pockets says: Provolone, mozzarella, cheddar and Romano cheeses with a zesty pizza sauce wrapped in a crispy crust

Abi says: There are two boxes of Hot Pockets in the fridge at work. They both belong to me. I should know better than to buy them, but they go on sale at Safeway or Giant and I’m trolling the frozen food aisle looking for something cheap when I’m hit by the per pocket price of $1.25.

So I buy a box of two Hot Pockets. This time is was Four Cheese Pizza, with the lure of a ‘Crispy Cheesy Crust!’. Alas, this crusty is neither crispy nor cheesy. The crisping sleeve did not perform. Also, the pocket is decidedly flat, as it would be very, very unhealthy to actually provide as much cheese as is shown on the box.

I give the Four Cheese Pizza Hot Pockets a thumbs down. Though, as a phenomenologist, I am intrigued by other pocket meals and in the future I will probably write about disappointing experiences with Lean Pockets, Hot Pockets Fruit Pastries, Hot Pockets Pot Pie Express, Hot Pockets Subs, Croissant Pockets and Belgian Chef. Belgian Chef is the french toast variety. Yeah, Belgian Chef makes French Toast. I don’t get it either.

Hot Pockets Pizza Mini's Logo

Finally, I would like to note that there is a brand called Hot Pockets Pizza Mini’s. With an apostrophe. I have included an image of the logo. Yes, possessive Mini’s. Oh, America. Oh, punctuation.

comments

9 Responses to “Hot Pockets Four Cheese Pizza”

marlene olson on September 26th, 2006

Just to add my two cents worth: I recently purchased purchased the Lean Pockets Philly Steak and Cheese (only because it looked so good!). Well, let me tell you: Not only did the pocket taste nothing like the picture looked, it must have been a new style product. It had NO meat, NO cheese, NO sauce, NO nothing in the middle! It was all bread and nothing but the bread. The outer crust might have been okay if there weren’t so much BREAD in it! What a huge disappointment but, like you, I should have known better. I have been suckered into buying these products repeatedly because they always look so good on the package….and I have been repeatedly disappointed by them. So now I’m left hungry as I did not bring a “backup lunch”…..
Dan on January 29th, 2007

Hot - Pockets - Breakfast… What a waste of money… They should be sued for false advertising… The picture on the box is nothing like what’s inside.

Looks like you are getting scrambled eggs, cheese and sausage… But seriously could not find the eggs or sausage.

Never again!
James Korn on April 8th, 2007

Paul Merage’s (inventor of Hotpockets) first language may not be English…this could explain the apostrophe on the “Mini’s”.

As for the fact that the product does not ressemble the photos on the boxes, well, this could be a mirage. :o)
Kate on June 4th, 2007

That apostrophe makes me so angry!
Bill English on July 19th, 2007

Hot Pockets (any product) look nothing like what they hold in the ads. A breakfeast hot pocket is about 25% of the size of the one the guy holds on TV - and looks nothing like it.
Alex on September 11th, 2007

Everyone’s so quick to criticize the apostrophe, but guys, this is how language evolves. People flipped when the apostrophe was first used to show a contraction (”How dumb and lazy must you be to use ‘don’t’ instead of the correct ‘do not’?”). In fifty or a hundred years people could look back on this and cite it as one of the first examples of the use of the apostrophe to denote the a shortened version of a word (’miniature’). Relax, change comes to everything, including language, and to say that one way of conveying information is inherently superior just because you happen to live in the time period in which that particular mehod is custom is ridiculously short-sighted.
Abi Jones on September 12th, 2007

Alex, I have realized the error of my ways and will no longer request that anyone use currently popular forms of grammar and punctuation. After all, what’s the worst that could happen if we can understand eachother?
nick on December 21st, 2007

those are my favorite kind of hot pockets. you guys suck(just kidding) but for real i love those hot pockets they are like the only kind that i eat.
I LOVE HOT POCKETS! on February 23rd, 2008

I will admit I love Hot Pockets, especially the Croissant crust variety. My favorite is Philly Steak & Cheese with the croissant cust.